Strike Sparks Anywhere

Hey

2008-05-26T19:26:00.000-04:00

I think I'm back at this thing.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

2008-01-11T12:30:00.000-05:00

the freshly sworn-in Mayor of Philadelphia....Michael Nutter!

Top that, Bloomberg!

GMAIL LIKE ITS YER JOB

2007-03-21T19:28:00.000-04:00

My Gmail tells me I received and sent 108 gmails today! HOORAY FOR GMAIL! GMAAAAAAAAIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL is the greatest.

I'm also blind.

The Sunset of Dissolution

2007-03-12T22:36:00.000-04:00

"In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia, even the gullotine."

- Milan Kundera, Unbearable Lightness of Being

"Here’s the thing: they can write a mean letter, they can write a mean memo, but these guys don’t have any real fight in them. If you’re an artist, as opposed to a careerist, and your movie is more important to you than a career in this town, they can never beat you. You have a loaded gun, and you know you’ve got what it takes to put it in their faces and blow their heads off."

- Quentin Tarantino

Me oh my oh, how the time does fly. Whenever there is an extended gap in between my posts on this blog it usually occurs for one of two reasons.

One: I'm bored and understimulated and have no desire to share anything. All I want to do when I'm in this mood is cook interesting new frittatas and go for long walks.

Ah wash mahself with a rag on a stick...mmm...thai shrimp frittata.

Two: I'm super-busy and overstimulated and can't find the time to post any of the excitement here.

I have no explanation for the latest gap though as it fits neither of the above categories. Lately I've actually been holding off on the bloggery until I could get more pictures to go along with my stories but if I wait too long then the stories are so old they stop being interesting. Unfortunately, they're just going to have to wait a little bit longer.

I'm really feeling both of those quotes up there these days. 2007 is shaping up to be a big year. Not only is the number at the front of my age odometer about to flip up one digit higher in a little over a month, but I'm coming up on a handful of meaningful 10-year anniversaries. I swear I will write more about these soon but let me just say I've decided to honor the 10-year anniversary of the year of my first cigarette by quitting. It's been 11 days since my last smoke and I ain't looking back. TAKE THAT WINSTON LIGHTS!!! And I'd appreciate it if you would stop calling me when I'm drunk - it's not polite, I'm serious this time and frankly I'm just not that into you anymore.

As for the other anniversaries, well...I think I'm going to hold off on saying anything more about those until a little later. It'll be a good one when it comes out though so stay tuned.

In the meantime, I've spent the last few days listening to the new Wilco album, Sky Blue Sky. The album won't appear in stores until May but true to form Wilco "leaked" the album by streaming it from their website a few months in advance and it's out there on the internets in mp3 format.

This album marks the first time the band that's been touring for the past few years on A Ghost is Born has gone into the studio together. It's been a relatively stable period for the band, no new additions or subtractions from the lineup, and this is the first Wilco album that Jeff Tweedy has made sober and post-rehab.

My personal experience with Wilco albums is that each album is different than the last and that you have to sit with it and listen to it 25 times or so before it's really revealed itself to you. Having said that and having listened to the album a dozen times from start to finish, here's my take:

It's mellow. It's soulful. I love the sound of Jeff and Nels' guitars together. There are some classic Tweedy deliveries:

"What am I gonna do when I run out of shirts to fold?
What am I gonna do when I run out of lawn to mow?"

and...

"Why is there no breeze, no currency of leaves?
No current through the water, why no feelings I can't see?
I trust no emotion, I believe in locomotion."

and when Tweedy starts wailing "Everybody's feeeeeeling all alone, can't tell you who I am" over smoky Garth Hudson organ fills, my body contorts with delight. Check em out for yourself:

You Are My Face - Sky Blue Sky - Wilco

Wilco - Hate it Here - Sky Blue Sky

I'm the one you're looking for, I'm-a doing 90 in a 54

2007-03-07T15:22:00.000-05:00

Who needs a new best friend? Buy me this and you've got a deal, partner!

1. Intelligence Test - I scored a 28 (29 after a helpful hint). If I had made the test it would have included "1 D in a B" though.

2. Not only have the assholes at Marvel Comics squandered the chance to make excellent movies out of some of their best characters (Punisher, Daredevil...haven't seen Ghost Rider, but cmon now, fuhgedaboutit) but now Captain Fucking America is DEAD. If it's a metaphor to our current national situation I can get with that but did it really have to go there? Cap shoulda just checked out, maybe hung up the ol' cowl and shield and sat in a bar, mourning his loss until January 2009 - Anchorman-style.

3. Some cool sites for Readers - my friend Nicole turned me onto GoodReads the other day and it's pretty cool. "It's what your friends are reading!" aka MySpace for the litterati crowd. Also, Netflix for Books!

Vote Different

2007-03-06T16:47:00.000-05:00

So, to my knowledge, no one has taken credit for creating this very-smart take-off on Ridley Scott's 1983 SuperBowl ad for the first Mac computer. Using Hillary's on-going "conversations" as the axis for political commentary, Hillary's front-runner status gets framed as oppressive, monolithic authoritarianism and Obama as the door-opening suffragette.

I can't wait for the inevitable, follow-up "Hi. I'm a Hillary voter. And I'm an Obama fan" Mac-PC ad take-off.

Why's It Gotta Be Portland

2007-02-21T09:05:00.001-05:00

I saw this happen live on C-Span following Barack's announcement in Springfield, IL. So glad someone clipped this for YouTube.

Smokey Joe

2007-02-15T16:25:00.000-05:00

From Wonkette:

Obama urges Senate staff to put him out of his misery

I really like this guy.

Love it

2007-02-13T20:11:00.000-05:00

Al-Qaeda #2 calls Bush an Alcoholic

Thoughts on this story (in the order they occured):

1. HA HA

2. Haven't we killed or captured this guy like seventeen times already? How many #2's does Al-Qaeda have?

3. WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR???

4. Al-Qaeda has a multimedia arm and a logo? Damn, everybody's up on Web 2.0

4. Maybe this will be what gets Bush to focus on Al-Qaeda again.

Portland Update

2007-01-27T12:59:00.000-05:00

Worlds reunited at the bar last night as my old friends Marah and Steve and I met up with all three members of the Makarowski clan at Beulahland on Belmont. Jer and Katie were in town visiting their broheim Ethan and Jer, Marah, Steve and I all used to be do-gooders together back in the day. The bar offered PBR in a can, a bottle and on tap though was generous with the Jameson. Hipster dude spinning hiphop at the front of the room. I am hungover though there is talk of brunch and then a walk somewhere in the Colombia Gorge.

Still no progress on the Portland Project idea front, despite this creative entry from my sister:

Regarding your request for feedback on what "creative" thing to do while in Portland, here is my idea: POO DOLLAR. Put poo on a dollar - put it on the street and hide behind a tree with a video camera. Nuff said.

Indeed.

Dream, 1/25

2007-01-27T12:49:00.000-05:00

As written upon waking up at 8:30 PST yesterday morning:

Sitting at desk in office when approaced by Sen. John Edwards. Introduced. Begins speaking of possible place for me in his campaign.

"What kind of people live in Nevada/new Mexico?" His eyebrow is raised.

"Latino...er, Spanish?"

Wants to know if I'd be interested in pitching his renewable energy plan to Latinos in Southwest.

I leave office and wander long hallways to get outside and get back to my car. Get to car, realize I forgot my shoes under office desk and my socks have holes in them. Walk back to office.

Myr of Hbkn Dave Roberts is now there reclining on chair speaking with Sen. Edwards.

"Dave Roberts!" Embarrassed for being too casual

"Ben...." he doesn't remember my last name

"...Mayor Roberts, how are you?" More formal now.

Barack Obama is now sitting at the desk I was at. I say excuse me and look under desk and find my shoes and put them on. Obama gets up and I help him with his jacket

"Can I help you with that, Senator?"

"Thank you Sir" as he hands me his discarded undershirt. Feel embarassed to be so obviously more respectful to Obama in front of Edwards. Edwards and I admire Sen. Obama's undershirt: white with ABA All-Star logo, has holograms of cities' names, big hoop and net and the face of some smiling dude in the middle.

The Portland Project

2007-01-26T16:58:00.000-05:00

So I flew in to Portland, OR last night for a West Coast variation on my East Coast vacation. While I'm out here I've been thinking that it might be fun to do some sort of project/artsy thing as a sort of time capsule for the trip. The problem is that it seems I am seriously lacking creativity.

My ideas, to date, in ascending order of stupidity:

1. Compete against the Portland Trailblazers in Free Throws. As in, go to a park every day with the box score of last night's game and attempt to shoot a better FT percentage than the Blazers did as a team the previous night. STUPID SCALE RATING: TWO OUT OF FIVE

2. Visit the same downtown Portland intersection at the same time everyday and ask a stranger to answer a seemingly innocent question but that when compiled into a string of video clips offers illuminating commentary on Portland and the human response to being accosted by inquisitive strangers. STUPID SCALE RATING: THREE OUT OF FIVE

3. Visit the same downtown Portland intersection at the same time everyday and scream "MOO!!!" as loud as I can. Document same as above. STUPID SCALE RATING: UNMENTIONABLE.

That's what I got. While I'm sure all of these ideas this would make for exceptionally stimulating video and text commentary, I'm not sold on any of them. So whoever any of you are that read this thing, please feel free to hit me up with any ideas you'd like to see me try to pull off. I'm wide open.

In other news...

1. We'll have our 2008 Democratic presidential nominee about this time next year, making the general election about TEN MONTHS LONG!!! Good for 24/7 cable news networks, bad for candidates, voters and republican democracy in general.

2. In related free throw shooting news, Jason Kidd used to blow kisses to his wife as part of his pre-free throw routine. Since Jason's divorce, his message to his wife seems to have changed:

3. FILE UNDER "Devestatingly Too Little, Too Late, Though Apparently Sooner Than We Think": For those keeping score at home, this week's State of the Union address marked the first time that our President has used the words "global warming" or "global climate change" in the speech. Unfortunately, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change adds lube to the slippery slope.

LASTLY: ALERT TO PHILLY HEADS: Caps and Jones playing Haverford TONIGHT - warm yourselves up some with these two cool dudes whose musical flow is best described as pyroclastic.

Introducing...Delonte West

2007-01-20T13:58:00.001-05:00

Delonte West plays guard for the Boston Celtics. Weird dude.

Exhibit A: His description of his ideal Valentine's Day date.

Exhibit B: The WY-AA HANG-AAA!

BIG THINGS

2007-01-02T20:16:00.000-05:00

New Years Swag.

YO.

On with the new year and whatnot...

Joe Rogan, there's something you should know about me...

It's Ball Season for me. Before the 2006 pack of newly elected swine can get to work bellying up to the trough, they must throw parties for 15,000 of their closest friends and enemies and I love bearing witness.

Got a few more bashes to attend where I will join my fellow unemployed campaign operatives in crowding out the amateurs from the Open Bar. Also on tap this week: inquiring about work. 2007. BIG THINGS - let's do it!

Some Links:

1. Malcolm Gladwell's insightful New Yorker piece on puzzles, mysteries, Enron and Nazi propaganda. Really interesting and everyone I try to talk to about it seems to have already read it so quit slacking and join the convo.

2. Requiem for the Skins: The WaPo delivers three terrific stories as a post-mortem on this disappointing season for the Potomac Basin Indigenous Peoples. Excellent reporting, unusual levels of candor from players and coaches. An interesting read for any sports fan. Parts One, Two, and Three found here.

3. The winner of MC Serch's next reality show wins a pack of Newports and Puma sweats. Make sure to click the "Gas Face" video for some old school Flavor Flav, Gilbert Gottfriend and proof that hip-hop used to be goofy AND STILL good as hell.

4. Gilbert Arenas aka Black President aka Agent Zero has been getting loads of ink. In case, you missed it, the "walk-away" shot as seen from the nosebleeds:

The Third Shoe

2006-12-27T13:29:00.000-05:00

Not to get all morbid while everyone is in holiday mode but I won't be a bit surprised to hear about another famous person dying in the next week or so. The one-two punch of James Brown and Gerald Ford necessitates a third celebrity death. It's just a rule that celebrity deaths always come in threes.

March 4 - 9, 1999

I first picked up on this back in 1999 when Justice Harry Blackmun (March 4), Stanley Kubrick (March 7) and Joe DiMaggio (March 9) all died within a week of each other. That "death trio" reminded me that just one month earlier King Hussein of Jordan (February 8), John Erlichman (February 14) and Gene Siskel (February 20) all died within two weeks of each other also. WEIRD. An odd phenomenon for sure but it's definitely held up over the years.

Late June 2001: Carroll "Archie Bunker" O’Connor, Jack Lemmon and John Lee Hooker.

June 21 - 27, 2001

September 2003: Johnny Cash, Warren Zevon and John Ritter died within five days of each other.

September 7 - 12, 2003

Some people may claim Peter Boyle started this current James Brown/Gerald Ford death trio but I'm not feeling that. Peter Boyle was a delight but he's not on the James Brown/Gerald Ford level. It's gonna be somebody big. I won't even speculate on who it could be for fear of getting it right and consequently being burned at the stake.

December 25 - ???

The only time I can remember there being a truly unequal death trio was back in 1997 when Princess Diana, Mother Theresa and Lorena Bobbit all died within a week of each other. Oh yeah, you didn't hear about Lorena Bobbit dying? Yeah, yeah, it was a traffic accident, a real bad one too. Yeah, apparently SOME DICK CUT HER OFF!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

No, seriously, I hope it's Osama that goes next.

2007 Here We Come

2006-12-26T01:41:00.000-05:00

Just a few more links to help keep you all from doing anything constructive during this short work week.

1. British soldiers participating in LSD experiments.

2. The Time Fountain.

3. Lifestyles of the Rich and Fascist

4. Short Imagined Monologues of McSweeney's. The Whole McSweeney's website/magazine is fantastic and I highly recommend frequent stoppage-by.

5. The MySpace page of Knicks rookie Renaldo Balkman. FAN-tastic!!!

6. NEW FAVORITE WEBSITE!!! Only those miserable few who grew up rooting for the Washington Bullets/Wizards through the 80s and 90s can truly appreciate the spirit behind Wizznutzz. And I need that 98 Bench t-shirt to wear everyday. For anyone who is experiencing second thoughts on having stiffed me this holiday season, this will get you back in my good graces.

DO. NOT. FALL. IN. LOVE.

2006-12-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

,
IT'S TOO LATE FOR THE SSA STAFF. SAVE YOURSELF.

New Years

2006-12-23T17:52:00.000-05:00

Diplo My Love remix

2006-12-23T12:39:00.000-05:00

Strike Sparks Anywhere #1 - Diplo My Love remix

The Good News: After many weeks, I was finally able to get Timbaland's swell-and-contract "My Love" syntheizer noises out of my head.

The Bad News: It's been replaced by the boop-bop-beep sonic hook in this remix by Diplo.

P.S. I'm shopping around for a new service to post audio. Not sure how I feel about the style of this one - please holler if anyone knows of a better one.

Random Linx

2006-12-19T23:28:00.000-05:00

As we continue to dust off the ol blogeroo, here are a smattering of links I've been meaning to share:

1. What's on Santa's Ipod? Lemon-Red, Tittsmas and more courtesy of Nick Catchdubs.

2. Gabe said We're Into Movements

3. Tribute album to The Band.

4. Interviews with cast members of Season Four of The Wire: Part One, Two and Three

5. You know what part of this one I wonder about the most? It's not the toilet seat around the neck. It's not the "Sexual Millionaire. Be One." scrawled on the chalkboard either. It's not even the dilated-pupil rantings. It's the cap gun and the cherry.

Keep posted for some possible intriguing news re: NYE....toodles.

Cool Grafitti/Art Exhibit

2006-12-17T13:50:00.000-05:00

The line outside 11 Spring Street on Saturday

An inside view

Before catching the fracas at the Garden last night I checked out this, um...art happening(?) on Spring St. The abridged back story goes as follows: Old building in = longstanding, well-known worldwide grafitti/art canvass. Building to be converted into luxury condos. Art world mourns. New owners not total dicks. See blurb from NYT below for rest of story...

The group decided that the best salute would be to stage one last, thoroughly legal, art-making hurrah, inviting some of the best-known graffiti and street artists in the world, many of whose work already loomed large on the outside of the building, to take over the inside and completely cover five floors, 30,000 square feet of brick wall space, with work. The art would then stay up only for a few days before the contractors moved in with drywall to cover up the interior works and pressure hoses to erase those on the outside.

In other words, not destroying the art inside but, rather, vacuum-sealing it like a time capsule inside the drywall of luxury condos. The line to get in stretched around three corners and lasted over 2 hours but the art inside and out was really cool. Crazy to think it was all done in just a few days...

Some of the rest of my photos are below. You can also find more photos from other people here. Full New York Times story available here also.

Quato Lives

Oxy Cottontail

What the Jolly Green Giant's dreams look like

You see straight up racist that sucka was, simple and plain...

Ghost Che far away

Ghost Che near - the coolest

Always fresh

More outside(r) art

Rock out with your walk out

Pulp wall art

I got nothing on this

Totally creepier in person

Rubberband art with artist

Baaaaaaaa

MELO 4 LIFE!!!

2006-12-17T13:28:00.000-05:00

The view from my seat at last night's Knicks - Nuggets game/brawl. All the action went down right where the people are standing in the photo above. I'm here to say that Melo did not throw a basketball punch at Mardy Collins - it was a man's punch. Fat Joe, Spike Lee and Turtle from HBO's Entourage were sitting in the front row courtside by where it all went down. Turtle wanted nothing to do with it and hid behind his bodacious girlfriend. Two security guards were required to hold down Fat Joe and Spike was so mad that his glaring at Isiah was interrupted that he bit Fat Joe in the leg and gravy poured out. The World's Most Famous Arena!

Yep Yep

2006-11-02T22:31:00.000-05:00

Finding homes for all your East Coast families

2006-09-13T21:42:00.000-04:00

Lookin for a real estate team of mellow fellows like DeVoe? Then get with the REMAX DeVoe team today, the only real estate team with all your backstage/underage needs..."I like to do the wild thing"

Tiki- yeeeaaahh!

2006-09-11T19:37:00.000-04:00

L'shana Tova from DK Meth to you and yours!

No Sleep til...

2006-09-04T21:59:00.000-04:00

Scotch, scotch, scotch...

2006-07-29T19:48:00.000-04:00

We're going strong seven days a week here in Philly y'all. Thank you to Pee-Wee Martini for holding this spot down for so many weeks while I've been grinding away at building something here in the (suburbs of the) City of Brotherly Love. I see you Bucks County!

The summer has been flying by and I'm feeling like it's gonna be September before I know it. Then I'll blink and it's GOTV time and after that....? What?

Football and chicken wings in Steve and Jake's basement again? Tanzania with the PDX fam? Poconos skiing and Key West with the new Philly crew? The future is wiiiiiiide open, as the man (with a very good new album) says.

The only sure thing is the party I'm throwing in New York City the weekend before Thanksgiving.

More on the party details later.

I've still managed to sneak in some quality Ben time here and there. Doylestown county life with Steve and Aleta. Bruce Springsteen and the Seegar Session band at their Jersey tour closer. Phil and Phriends, Pearl Jam and My Morning Jacket in Camden. Band of Horses and Yo La Tengo.

I'm heading back to Chicago in a couple weeks for a friend's wedding. Flying in a day early to catch up with some campaign buddies from the spring. Another wedding in upstate NY Labor Day weekend. Should be a fun-college-reunion-y good time. Other than that I'm tied to hustling between the Four Counties keeping the lemmings in the air. Natty Burns taught me that analogy. I like juggling lemmings better than herding cats because while cats are certainly difficult to rustle, they don't make a break for the nearest cliff to commit suicide the moment you don't have complete control over them like lemmings do. It's much more important to keep your grip on your lemmings.

Not sure how often I'll be able to keep up with the updates. I'll try and do something at least once a week. There's some good music from some local bands I like that I'll try to pass on,. Plus some recent reminders on living well, mixing business with pleasure and the importance of taking good care of your friends. Be well y'all.

P.S. This is the picture that gets me out of bed in the morning.

Introducing....Pee Wee Martini

2006-06-29T19:46:00.000-04:00

Philly native who came in second in nation's ugliest dog competition.

Pee Wee Ramone

Pee Wee with her mom and Kathie Lee 2.0

This crowd has gone deathly silent. Former groundskeeper a-BOUT to become the next Masters Champion...

Plenty more Pee Wee still to come.

Summer's here, and the time is right...

2006-06-23T13:28:00.000-04:00

Wednesday kicked off summer and John Crave emerges from his lab with a fresh batch of summer madness for all his mighty children. Surrender to the Prock:

Crave Live @ Bembe
81 South 6th St (corner of Berry St.)
Billyburg
Monday, June 26th 9:30 PM
FREE!!!!

Fear the Turtle

2006-06-21T10:00:00.000-04:00

National Journal offers up their take on the 2008 Presidential Candidates (less than 30 months away!). The sleeping Edwards giant awakens in Iowa, Mitt Romney still sitting pretty (those eyes!) and John Kerry is still wearing the Laverne sweater.

I have a feeling about one or two candidates not on these lists but whom are discussed in greater detail at National Journal.

Rather Bored, Rather Sad

2006-06-20T21:39:00.000-04:00

Among the places he had sought solace, he said on a recent afternoon, was in "Good Night, and Good Luck," George Clooney's homage to Edward R. Murrow and the CBS News of old, a film that Mr. Rather said he had seen five times in theaters, most recently alone.

Full Times story here.

Rock n Roll and Politics: Better Together

2006-06-17T21:32:00.000-04:00

In honor of My Morning Jacket's epic 31-song set at this past weekend's Bonnaroo (thank you jeebus for streaming internet), here is a clip of MMJ rocking Conan's socks off from a couple years ago.

1. The Devil really does wear Prada.

2. Bobby Kennedy Jr. puts his JD where his mouth is.

3. Not since we met the President's nephew, Pierce, has the staff here at SSA liked the blood relatives of an elected Republican so much. We present: the MySpace pages of Congressman Bilbray's kids.

Wil-Wear or birth of Hipster-Hop?

2006-06-13T22:01:00.000-04:00

You gotta diversify yo bonds, nigga!

From Reuters:

Wal-Mart has taken numerous steps in that direction. Artists such as Ashanti, Destiny's Child and Jennifer Lopez are among those with branded perfumes available at the mass merchant. Additionally, the retailer started a major promotion last year with BET, in which DVDs carrying the black-oriented cable network's imprint are packaged with CDs from select artists. And this summer, Wal-Mart will roll out Exsto, an "urban sportswear" fashion line being overseen by Jeff Tweedy of rock band Wilco, a former partner in Sean "Diddy" Combs' Sean John clothing line.

Too funny.

Don't Want to End up Like Bonnie and Clyde...

2006-06-12T17:38:00.000-04:00

RIP Desmond Dekker.

Sabotage:

The Israelites:

007 (Shanty Town): (Special Ed fans take note)

Almost half of Americans are Fucking Retarded

2006-06-05T18:01:00.000-04:00

Almost Half of Americans Believe Humans Did Not Evolve
Religion is major predictor of attitudes toward human origin
by Frank Newport

GALLUP NEWS SERVICE

PRINCETON, NJ -- A recent Gallup Poll shows that almost half of Americans believe that human beings did not evolve, but were created by God in their present form within the last 10,000 years or so.

These conclusions are based on responses to a specific Gallup Poll question that provides respondents with three alternative explanations for the "origin and development of human beings":

1) Human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God guided this process.

2) Human beings have developed over millions of years from less advanced forms of life, but God had no part in this process.

3) God created human beings pretty much in their present form at one time within the last 10,000 years or so.

Find a nice spot on the wall to bang your head against and continue reading here

Smart-Ass Red Button

2006-06-03T13:54:00.000-04:00

Make the worst booing noise you can

2006-06-02T09:15:00.000-04:00

Reason #2094 why I'm no longer an Orioles fan. And yet I still want to go Hevesi on this kid.

Too much job, not enough posts

2006-05-31T14:27:00.000-04:00

I apologize for the lack of fresh material this last week. I have two or three items in my "To Be Blogged About" file, including a quote from Tom DeLay last Friday that reminds me of the time I almost got my ass beat my the entire Syracuse Hockey team as well as the time I ate a Baby Ruth right before I walked into my dentist's office.

Quality content coming soon...in the meantime, in turns out God doesn't want to hear about it. For real.

Randy was right.

Chocolate milk?

2006-05-30T16:49:00.000-04:00

Click-clack goes the tile

2006-05-26T08:59:00.000-04:00

Is that a poker hand or a Capri Sun pouch? Seriously.

1. Mom gets a shout-out in the Washington Post for her crew of Mah-Jongg tile slingin' sixth graders. Very cool.

2. Rahm Emannuel, the supposedly real-life Josh Lyman, gets some more deserved props for his 2006 strategy to bring the heat to Congressional Republicans.

3. You, Music Lover. Does your job, family or otherwise hectic schedule keep you from spending the necessary hours combing the internet to research bands, scenes and mp3s you think you might like? Want to know what the "kids" you hold in contempt are raving about? Feeling too much like Mr. Jones? Once again, the internets has got your back. Entertainment Weekly, constant bastion of alterna-cool culture, profiles the top 25 music sites on the web. Personal favorites mentioned include Pandora, Seattle's KEXP and NPR's All Songs Considered archive. One not mentioned and strictly for hip-hoppers: Mastermix.org. Get your rocks off.

Happy Birthday Bobby

2006-05-24T14:13:00.000-04:00

I was thinkin bout diamonds and the world's biggest necklace!

Some videos to celebrate America's greatest living artist. I will cry when he is gone.

1. A classic from my favorite Dylan era, the Desire/Rolling Thunder/Scarlet Rivera/Is That Face Paint or Cocaine tour: Tangled Up in Blue

2. Bob and the Man in Black do Girl from the North Country

3. From Don't Look Back, the video for Subterranean Homesick Blues that inspired that other video by INXS.

4. Not Bob but one of his tunes - Pearl Jam doing Masters of War from the 1992 Dylan Tribute concert. I threw this one in so I could also mention that I'm finally catching Pearl Jam live in concert this Sunday - the last band on my list of bands I need to see before I'm able to die happy. I remember making this list for the first time immediately after I saw Dylan play the Landmark Theatre in Syracuse back in 1996 just so I could scratch his name off the list.

5. My favorite Dylan tune, Isis, with the man at the peak of his ability to perform on lots and lots of cocaine.

Viva la Boken

2006-05-18T09:53:00.000-04:00

Not to bite Wade's steelo but this place is as real as it gets...shrimp parm w/ fresh mutz!

Most of you know I spent the better part of last year working in Hoboken, NJ and I had many, many memorable adventures. It's a great little town, just across the river from Manhattan, where 1/4 of the under-30 crowd seemed to have graduated from Syracuse University, though these were not the kids I hung out with in college. The youngsters blend in nicely with the elderly ethnic scene to create a vibe similar to what I can only imagine it would be like if you stuck Rutgers in the middle of Sicily. Evidence of the Italian diaspora before your very eyes.

Dedicated blogger and comedian Adam Wade has similar feelings about Hoboken. He's faithfully portrayed Hoboken's small-town feel and conveys the sense of community Hobokenites enjoy.

I never bumped into Adam while I was there but I'll look for him when I go back next spring. I know from these videos we have at least one bar in common:

Adam asks the Reverend: Is it really tricky to rock a rhyme?

Adam's constant praise of a particular Italian Tuna sandwich led Chelsea Peretti over from NYC and begat this funny little thing. I prefer Fiore's shrimp parmigiana (wednesdays!) but Wade is down with my man Greg from the Farside so you know he's good peoples.

Kinda funny cause it's kinda true

2006-05-16T14:51:00.000-04:00

This "If I Were President" video from the most recent SNL evoked a range of emotions.

I Spit Hot Fire!

2006-05-15T18:38:00.000-04:00

Luck Dragon or phallic cloud of volcanic ash?

1. Washington Post has some crazy photos of Mt. Merapi in Indonesia blowing it's stack this morning.

2. Skype finally made it happen. Free calls to cellphones from your computer. I've been hyping this service when it was just laptop-to-laptop but now it's ready for primetime. Does this remind anyone else of the Napster days? All this free shit: Wikipedia, YouTube, Google, now free phonecalls. Technological advancements have been occuring at a faster clip than our morality or legal systems can keep up with (i.e. the "is-it-legal-to-kill-my-clone" question) but finally technology has zoomed by industry's ability to capture and profit. If Napster taught us anything it's milk the good stuff before it disappears.

3. If it's sunny where you are, open your windows and turn this up.

4. Wilco played a new tune on Conan Friday night. Less Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, more Huey Lewis meets Sam Cooke.

Obama/Wilco '06

2006-05-12T11:00:00.000-04:00

Conan O'Brian has been filming his show in Chicago all week and he closes the run with some of the best Chicago has to offer. Old friends Barack Obama and Wilco team up to send Conan off with a bang.

Backstage @ Farm Aid 2005

I haven't seen any of the Chicago shows but this clip of Conan and his Chicago tour guide, Mr. T, is hysterical. "If you got a big building and your name ain't written on it, I'm not gonna recognize it."

Come to Butthead...for permission

2006-05-08T17:36:00.000-04:00

Breakin the law, breakin the law!

The Boston Globe has some excellent reporting on the Bush Administration's blatant violations of federal law and it's quest to wield power from the Executive Branch like the Sheriff of Nottingham.

This count does not include the Jenna Bush "statute", which is documented to have been violated several thousand times.

The original article calling attention to the hundreds of statutes violated by this Administration.

A list of some of the many statutes broken and the context in which they occured.

Peel back the Spam to reveal...

2006-05-08T17:30:00.000-04:00

I don't know how to get the above graphic to be bigger but it's a snapshot of an email I got recently that Yahoo directed to my Bulk mail folder. Normally I just delete such emails after a quick scan of the folder to make sure nothing important strayed from my Inbox, but this particular subject line caught my eye.

"Dear Sir" it begins, in appropriately capitalized letters. Formal, friendly, complimentary, suggesting a heretofore unfamiliar author. I am flattered and therefore intrigued. I continue...

"i am interested..." The breakdown in common grammatical rules as evidenced by the lower-case "i" instantly sends up a flare of mistrust. I associate such typos with the steady stream of spam I receive inquiring as to whether I "stack up" or want to "add rigidity". If you're not professional enough to spell-check your emails, I'm sure as hell not letting you anywhere near my privates. That's my motto.

However, it's the final two words of the subject line that give me pause...

"...in it". In. IT. "Dear Sir, I am interested in it". Oh, really? And just what is IT that you are interested in, Ms. Dobson? I have put nothing up for sale, no ad in the paper. I have made no general inquiries seeking input or opinions from strangers. There are no doggie-bags for servants or orphans or any others likely to address me as 'Sir'.

I can only wonder what the IT this God-willingly lovely woman, Jocelyn Dobson, is interested in. It could easily be some sort of sex act. It could also be something more clever, as I am inclined to think, judging by the studious aloofness of the email's subject. I have yet to open the email so that all of you can take a guess at what the IT actually is.

Those who guess correctly will be able to post whatever they want on this site - embarassing photos of your ex, your demo, your J-Date URL, whatever. Of course, if no one participates I'll just ignore the email and none of us will ever know the truth. That secret will die with Ms. Dobson so take your best guess, and please be as specific as possible in case of a tie.

Blog Mix Tape

2006-05-05T18:41:00.000-04:00

I relate to John Cusack's character in High Fidelity. I'm sure lots of guys do. That being said, here are three observations that all involve breaking events and artifacts into categores suitable for ranking:

1. Happy Anniversary to me.

16 years ago today I became a man in the eyes of the Jewish faith. Not coincidentally, this is the 16th Anniversary of My Greatest Social Calendar Year Ever. Better than sophomore year of college, better than recent years involving much travel. Back in 1990, there were about 40 kids in my hebrew school class. Every one of them had a Bar or Bat Mitzvah and I was invited to most of them. That meant almost every weekend for a full year I was slipping into my suit (brown) and scoping hotel ballrooms for any fly relatives of my classmates. It didn't matter that we were doing the Electric Slide and playing Coke and Pepsi. We were learning how to mack. And if you can mack while doing the Electric Slide, you deserve to be considered a man in the eyes of any faith.

2. Band of Horses' Everything All the Time deserves consideration for Top Ten "Sunday Morning" Albums Released This Millenium. Aquarium Drunkard tagged these guys just right: combo of Built to Spill, My Morning Jacket and the Shins....MMJ's shoe-gazing younger brothers.

Band of Horses:

The Funeral

I Lost My Dingle on the Red Line

Bass Song

Wicked

3. Items are listed so that the lister may derive the pleasure of scratching them from the list upon completion. I was recently given much joy by being able to scratch an item off my "Things That Must Be Created So I May View Them Before I Die" list, namely, a movie about penguins narrated by Morgan Freeman. That came in at #7.

But today, I put a big ol' scratcheroo through #3! An astounding juggling performance set to the Beatles' Abbey Road medley. Amazing!

Have a good weekend everybody!

Why is this man smiling?

2006-05-04T14:46:00.000-04:00

It's a great day for baseball in D.C.

Now listening

2006-05-04T14:17:00.000-04:00

Over and over and over and over and over again...

I know this jam is everywhere right now but damned if I can't get it out of my head.

Does that make me crazy?

Downloaded the album on iTunes yesterday and can't. stop. playing. it.

Bubba the Broker Bans Bubbly

2006-05-03T14:04:00.000-04:00

I could totally write headlines for the New York Post.

William J. Clinton Foundation successfully negotiates to get soda out of schools. Way to go, Bill. Seriously.

Steve Colbert has GIANT balls

2006-05-02T17:52:00.000-04:00

Steven Colbert roasts Bush, the press corps and says Fuck You Very Much to Scalia in the original Sicilian.

Pa rt 1

Part 2

Part 3

The new thing you learned today

2006-05-01T14:27:00.000-04:00

John Doe is to America as ________ is to Australia.

Answer: Fred Nerk.

Deep Smit

2006-04-27T23:07:00.000-04:00

I touched this woman's hand

on the subway tonight
and we both looked
straight ahead

And away we go...

2006-04-27T13:54:00.000-04:00

I leave for Philly tomorrow morning to look at apartments and try to nestle a bit before I settle into my job for the rest of the year. As a believer in signs and omens and the ability of early results to predict overall success, I am very happy that Philly 2006 gets kicked off the right way on Friday night with a Beef and Beer Pong party some friends are hosting to benefit the American Cancer Society. Good times, good cause, good people...hopefully the campaign shakes down the same way.

In unrealted news, I've been reading a lot of science magazines lately. Nothing clinical but the latest issues of Scientific American and SEED are at my disposal for the subway ride home tonight. I've been saving a post about how my mind is completely blown by these things called mirror neurons. El Stence first hipped me to the article in the New York Times about them and stories of developments in the field seem to be popping up in every science mag I see. Until I get around to publishing the post you'll just have to trust me that these things are amazing parts of our brains that have evolved to help us learn language, develop empathy and infer the intentions behind peoples' actions. Oh, our amazing brains!

I also think that my recent fascination with these science mags has to do with the joy I get from reading about people that are intellectually curious and believe in science for science's sake. Obviously, those tendencies stand in stark contrast to those being espoused by our political leaders but it seems like American society as a whole has lost the spark for discovery and exploration. Not surprising I guess given the heaviness of recent times but dammit America! Snap out of it! There's a great big universe out there!

And giant oceans and microscopic creatures and bending strips of time near the speed of light! Not to mention all the cool stuff going on inside our own heads! There's so much we don't know yet - about our planet, about our solar system and about ourselves. What do you say, team? Brand new era of scientific discovery on Three! 1-2-3!

Enter the psychedelic swirl to the New Enlightenment

Are we there yet? No? OK, fine. So, it's gonna take a little bit more magic than fractals to get our exploration engine running. But if you're looking for some news that doesn't involve administration snow-jobs, alleged rapist student-athletes or nuclear-fueled nationalism, get yourself some science reading and nerd out.

Here's something to tide you over until I get the mirror neurons tribute ready. It's not a new discovery but still very cool: Mind-Controlling Wasps! In the meantime, I'm off to discover and explore in Pennsylvania. If you have any other cool science tales, please pass them on.

Cloud fractals: what the sky looks like in the New Enlightenment

Speaking of clobberin time...

2006-04-24T13:32:00.000-04:00

Worst. Parent-Teacher Conference. Ever.

You can tell the decision to wallup was made early. Lady says "excuse me", squares up and lets one fly.

It's good to be back

2006-04-23T21:23:00.000-04:00

Hello friends, apologies for the lack of fresh goodies the last week. Life's been taking up a lot of my time lately - working, travelling, celebrating birthdays and weddings, etcetera, etcetera...

The week started with some time reviewing reams and reams of polling data, voter databases and analyses of previous elections to start putting the state plan for PA together. Trying to make sense of all the data to figure out where the votes are going to come from is an intimidating deal but I've never been involved with this aspect of campaign planning before so I'm pretty psyched. I'm supposed to be heading up the Keystone State this week to start laying some groundwork and then before I know it it's gonna be June, then August, then I'll blink and it'll be November. Crazy. You know what time it is...

On Friday, I left D.C. to start making my way up to Albany. One of my good friends from college was getting married on Saturday but Friday was this old boy's birthday so a layover in NYC Friday night was in order. Hit the usual places with the usual gang and a good time was had by all.

Famous people born on April 21st:

Charlotte Bronte, John Muir, Queen Elizabeth II, Tony Danza, Iggy Pop, Andie McDowell, Robert Smith of The Cure, Charles Grodin and Catherine the Great. Can I get a hell yeah?

Tony flashing that winning Taurean smile

I manage to get one hour of sleep before up and at em in a car up the NYS Thruway to Capital City. Maria got married in the giant Catholic cathedral right next to Empire Plaza. The service was beautiful but as an M.O.T. I have many questions. For starters, who's really in charge of this thing? The guy with the white hat or the guy with the red hat? The guy in the red hat tells everybody when to sit and stand but the guy in the white hat keeps raising his arms up and singing loudly. In the name of brevancy I'll digress but it's a good thing the bride was a good friend of mine because organized religion on an empty stomach and an hour of sleep make Ben something something...

After the wedding comes the reception and when the Cuse is in the house with an open bar you know the good times are bout to flow like liquid gin..pictures and more posts coming soon.

Eat the Rich

2006-04-17T12:49:00.000-04:00

We're gonna need a lot of hot sauce...

1. Retiring Exxon chairman gets PAID

2. Dick Cheney still PAID

3. New Yorkers for Santorum PAYS up

4. Apologies for the quality of the graphic below but the NYC subway rag AM Metro doesn't cater their online version for the blogosphere yet. If you can't read it, it's worth a download, which you can do here.

Thanks to Capitol Jester for practically writing today's post.

Notes from a couple days ago, now old news

2006-04-16T12:14:00.000-04:00

Lesson #1: A late-night swim in the outdoor pool at the Quality Inn in Somerset, PA is an excellent pick-me-up after spending 20 out of 48 hours behind a steering wheel. Heading back to DC for some meetings that'll hopefully finalize where I'm spending the rest of 2006.

Lesson #2: Ben Gordon is a baller. The ex-UConn Huskie and Mos Def look-a-like tied an NBA-record by drilling all 9 of his 3-point attempts against the Wizards tonight. Playoff seeds on the line and Benny comes up big in front of the hometown crown. Respect. The rest of the Chicago Bulls basketball organization, especially Tyson "Kwame Brown brings out my A-Game" Chandler and Andres "Thug Life" Nocioni, can eat a bag of you-know-whuts.

Lesson #3: 1840 Haight is the place to be in San Fran tomorrow night. Caps and Jones flash the bat-signal over the Bay Area, calling all crusaders to Milk Bar Saturday night. B.Y.O. capes, heroes...

Little-known fact: Beast and Cyclops were the dudes posing in the original Tommy Boy record logo.

Now Reading/Watching

2006-04-11T18:00:00.000-04:00

With the spectre of employment casting its dark shadow upon my coming days, I'm doing my best to veg out via books and movies while I still can. Some hits and some misses - all of which are profiled below.

Now Reading:

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card - NERD ALERT - the adjectives "wicked" and "awesome" alone would not suffice as descriptions of this wicked awesome sci-fi novel. I read all 324 pages for the first time between 4pm and 2am yesterday and it FU@%ED me up! I couldn't get to sleep afterwards and laid in bed wondering if it's true that we can't truly hurt somebody unless we understand them completely; and that the only way we can truly understand someone is if we make the effort to love them as they love themselves. Love as the only conduit to truly harm someone has been a theme of pop music for decades, but the thought of learning to truly love someone as they love themselves so that you may destroy them is CUCKOO. What's really gonna bake your noodle is thinking about what if Jesus understood that. Oh dip...

Cosmopolis by Don DeLillo - Meh. I haven't read any of DeLillo's other novels. Perhaps I started with the wrong one. I found the characters unengaging, the dialogue hard to follow and the narration very unfriendly. Perhaps that was the artistic intent of the author though - to create a reading atmosphere resembling the cold, calculating persona of a post-modern king of finance. Whatever, I don't like it when authors do that. Hulk Smash.

Law School Confidential by Robert H. Miller - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will admit publicly that I'm still thinking about it. I've been doing some research up here in St. Paul, hanging with a law school pal and taking it all in. Granted, law students in their second semester of their third year don't set the best examples of the rigors of studying law but I get the picture. The advice from the book is clear: either commit to law school early and don't look back or don't do it at all. At this point, I think I'm willing to pledge to commit and not look back until I see my LSAT score. Baby steps...

Conversations with Tom Petty by Paul Zollo - OK, so if you're a really, really big Tom Petty fan and you dream of one day sitting down with the man himself in order to chronicle his thoughts on every song he's ever recorded and will accept "Yeah, I really love that song, too" as an insightful response - I'm sorry to break it to you, but Paul Zollo has already written your book for you. To be fair, there are many great stories peppered throughout the book, including Petty's gushing recollections of the Heartbreakers touring as Bob Dylan's back-up band and what it was like being a Wilbury (Answer: super-cool and freakin' awesome, respectively).

Guns, Germs and Steel, A Brief(er) History of Time (Books-On-CD versions) - I have a long ride from Minnesota to Philly ahead of me and I discovered I have little to no recall of the stuff I learned when I read these a few years ago. AKA I'm not the guy you want to help you remember the combination to your bike lock. I am gonna be wicked smart by the time I get back to the East Coast though.

Now Watching:

The Aristocrats/Comedian - For those living in bubbles impenetrable by all things humorous, The Aristocrats is a documentary dedicated to the telling of a single joke. The initial set-up and punchline vary slightly according to the teller but the narrative that connects the two ends is completely up to the person telling the joke - and it's completely filthy everytime. Comedian is a lesser-known documentary that follows Jerry Seinfeld's on and off-stage efforts to build an all-new stand-up routine. The best part of both movies for me was getting to watch professional comics talk about their craft; about what makes "funny". I could watch Carlin, Seinfeld, Cosby, Drew Carey, Colin Quinn, these "comics' comics" talk about what works and what doesn't for hours. And I did. The other interesting thing I noticed though was that there was absolutely no overlap in comics between the two movies. There must have been easily a hundred comics featured between the two movies and not one appeared in both. It's as if there are two comedy "camps" - the "Seinfeld" camp and the "Penn from Penn and Teller" camp. That's obviously not the case but it's fun to imagine.

The Fog of War - Rent it. It's like someone gave Robert McNamara truth serum. You'd hate to see the same thing happen to Rumsfeld - too soon.

Paycheck - it's not often that a film title can also sum up the apparent motivation of all creative entitiess associated with it. Good for the first hour and then it everyone on both sides of the camera said, "Eh, who gives a shit" and went pants-optional from there on out.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - Opposite of Paycheck. Really disappointed until the Tri-Wizard Tournament started. Kinda disappointed that Fleur was not hotter or that Krum didn't have a unibrow you could rest pencils on. Also, the actor playing Ron needs to pop in a tape of the VH1 Corey Feldman Behind the Regrettful Career Decisions and see what happens to kids that are too cool for school and lack talent. Apologies for not posting a NERD ALERT at the start of this review.

Chapelle's Block Party - More funny than Aristocrats and Comedian combined PLUS the greatest hip-hop concert ever recorded. ?uestlove did a helluva job putting the music together. The marching band playing Jesus Walks and Lauryn Hill tearing up Killing Me Softly made my eyes well up. No joke. I'm a sucker for magic moments. Like that part in The Natural after Hobbs shatters Wonderboy and says "Pick me out a winner, Bobby"? Killer.

Testing

2006-04-10T15:27:00.000-04:00

Trying out a new technology here. Hooray for the internet!

America's Craving Some Crave

2006-04-09T18:44:00.000-04:00

John Crave drops some new maple syrupy gold for those pancakes in yer ears, kiddos. Come hott hotties, mighty children and everyone to kneel by Crave's fountain of liquid gold. Soak up your aural fill...

Gold Buick
the early nominee for anthem of summer 2006

Watermelon Nights

Star Wipe

Battle for Kelv

Rap Your Rock
perfect for that spring backyard bbq jam

For the full John Crave experience, pack your intergalactic suitcase and click here...

Saturday night ramblings

2006-04-08T23:36:00.000-04:00

In a hypothetical, stream-of-consciousness, self-interview, where I ask for an autobiographical Ipod playlist; the response:

It would probably start out with some comedy bits. I remember listening to comedy albums before I started listening to music. Cosby, Carlin, Jonathan Winters, Tom Lehrer, Allan Sherman, Mel Brooks, Bob Newhart, some real random stuff, like this one my grandma had called Laugh of the Party and she would do this routine where two women with proper accents get talking about going to Ceylon and get smashed on port. That stuff had a huge impact on me. Huey Lewis would be in there, Sam Cooke and Otis Redding, early HipHop : Rob Base, Heavy D, B-Boys, De La Soul, Tribe, Public Enemy.

Then Bob Dylan. I probably discovered Bob Dylan like teenagers discovered Dylan thirty years ago. Vinyl record alone in my bedroom. There's probably not any other way to discover Dylan, once you hear him for the first time it's all the same, BAM, either you're in awe or you're looking for something completely diffferent. It was Like a Rolling Stone, over and over again, it was literate, it had timing , his words weren't arbitrary, it was like the comedy albums. Tomorrow is a Long Time, All Along the Watchtower, Idiot Wind, Isis, Tambourine Man, Masterpiece. Then the Band - my Dad was a huge musical influence on me. Everything up to now was from my Dad - the comedy albums, the Motown, Dylan, everything. Mom's stuff was always sort of playing in the background: Billy Joel, Elton John, Daryl Hall and John Oates, I know all that shit. Then, one day, I remember being in the car when Chest Fever I think came on the radio and my dad turned it up and afterwards gushed "man, it just doesn't get any better than that" and I thought "what, who? What have you been holding out on me?" Long Black Veil, Atlantic City, Country Boy, Basement Tapes. That's my bread and butter. That's where I'm home

I remember seeing Dave Matthews Band in the fall of 95 and I got super into them for about two years and then I just jumped headfirst into the Grateful Dead. Someone gave me a bootleg of theirs in high school and I remember it being too mellow for me at the time, then i saw them the summer after I graduated high school at RFK stadium, in 95 and I got progressively more into them until my sophomore year in college when exploring music became a group effort and we all needed a steady diet of music to smoke weed to: Dead, Phish, The Band, The Allmans with some Tupac, Talking Heads and Steely Dan thrown in for good measure here and there, reggae, etc. That musical scene proved hard to get out of and I picked up on some non-jammy shit here and there but at the time that scene was still pretty good: MMW, Strangefolk, Percy Hill, DBB, Viperhouse, etc. HipHop reappeared for a brief second with Mos and Kweli's joints but I mostly stayed immersed in jam world until I heard Wilco.

I was living in Ithaca, in a cabin about 8 miles outside town, when I picked up Being There on a complete fucking lark. I can tell you exactly where I was the first time I heard jeff tweedy's voice - in my car at the intersection of Buffalo and Rt. 13 heading East, on my way back from Best Buy where I bought the album. It's been as torrid a love afffair with a band as I've ever had ever since. They opened me up to a whole new scene of music which I've been happily sifting through ever since. That's where it would wrap up.

P.S. This was my cabin home outside Ithaca:

The wheels on the bus...

2006-04-05T18:04:00.000-04:00

Chugga chugga choo choo!

Nevermind the proper sounds a bus makes! It just got a lot more dangerous to be an ex-Steeler, son! Or someone who's had a frothy mixture named after them. You're both going down, cousins, it's clobberin' time!

Timeless Goodies

2006-04-01T14:35:00.000-05:00

Well gang, this one is sure to cause a stir but there've been some big things underfoot here at the home office, you might want to sit down. Many of you know my girlfriend Allison. Many of you do not. And for those that don't this is going to come as an especially big shock but Ms. Fisher, with the permission of Mr. Fisher, has finally agreed to marry this old boy.

I asked for her hand on the shores of Lake Michigan, last weekend, in front of a large crowd of bystanders, including her parents and several hundred pigeons, just like in that Zales jewelry commercial. It's all very exciting and we couldn't be happier and we wish to direct all of you to our registry at Dick's Sporting Goods . Spend generously and promptly. Some of you will be recieving invitations in the near future.

1. An old take on an old Administration tactic but a good read nonetheless. A newer take on West Wing happenings from dear Mr. Fineman.

2. Celebrating the man, the school: George Mason. Who was he? How close is GMU to my high school? Go Patriots.

Nuff respek to G-Mase

3. Twin Cities treating the old boy well. The sun is shining, the birds are back in town, threat of catastrophic frostbite subsiding. Back on the road soon though. Gone til November, i'll be gone til November.

Peppers and Leeroy

2006-03-27T17:42:00.000-05:00

1) B. Peppers. As in, "B. peppers little children with pieces of caramel to lure them into his van." His weird, gruesome, bug-eyed minivan.

Strike Sparks Anywhere Joke Original:

Q: What's the difference between B. Peppers and his weird, gruesome, bug-eyed minivan?

A: The van doesn't have a busted grill.

2) Can't remember if I posted this before but it's one of the funniest things I've seen on the web this year. Leeroy has no patience for gameplanning, he just wants to do this, no matter the cost.

Murmurs and banter

2006-03-27T13:52:00.000-05:00

For the first time in five races, I will not embark on a post-election Wilco/Jeff Tweedy tour. The band is still touring but there's no way I'm going to Arkansas. In lieu of a live performance, I've been enjoying the webcast of a recent show Jeff Tweedy played all by himself here in Chicago. For those that haven't had the chance to hear Tweedy unplugged, do yourself a favor and allow yourself the time to let his songs win you over.

Washington D.C. is Georges

2006-03-27T12:59:00.000-05:00

1) D.C.-area college hoops had only one "George" team for a very long time. The Georgetown Hoyas, along with the Maryland Terps, dominated the local hoopscene and some years fielded better teams than the Washington Bullets/Wizards could muster. Then in the early 90s, another "George" school, George Washington, started making some noise under head coach Mike Jarvis and some help from Yinka Dare, Shawnta Rogers, Alexander Koul and others. This year GW fielded it's best team ever, was ranked in the AP top 10 for the final five weeks of the season and established itself as a program worthy of being discussed in the same breaths as the Hoyas and Terps.

This weekend, the D.C. "Georges" became a triumverate. On Saturday, George Mason knocked off #1 seed Connecticut in the NCAA tournament to earn itself trip to the Final Four, some national recognition and a place atop this season's D.C. "George Triangle". The GMU campus is also a ten-minute drive down Braddock Rd from the house I grew up in in Fairfax, VA. While demographic shifts in my old neighborhood have resulted in a much-improved basketball team at my old high school, back in the day, our team was something to not only sneeze at, but dunk mightily on as well. A lot of the dudes that played ball for the LB Bruins when I was a freshman and sophomore wound up playing for the GMU Patriots after graduation. Big ups to those guys. It's nice to see Fairfax getting some love on Sportscenter.

Chicago redux recap

2006-03-23T13:01:00.000-05:00

"The lord can make you tumble, the lord can make you turn; the lord can make you overflow...but the lord can't make you burn."
- Randy Newman

Sorry for the delayed posting folks. I know a lot of you were keeping tabs on the race and waiting for some news but it's taken me until now to find the time to clean up some old thoughts and make sense of what just occured but here goes: what follows is actually a composite of thoughts typed out on two separate days: the day after the news hit and the day after the day after we lost. You'll see what I'm talking about. Comments welcome...

Well, that's all folks. Once again the lightning didn't quite make it out of the bottle here in the Windy City. With 100% of precincts reporting, it's the hospital bed-ridden incumbent over the shimmeringly vibrant insurgent by 4 points or roughly 20,000 votes out of some 600,000 cast. Turnout sucked out in our base and as the GOTV director I kind of take that shit personally. But when I consider our Election Day operation consisted of 300 odd volunteers spread out across 5000 precincts and the fact that we were up against a team comprised of the most powerful labor unions in town, thousands of county workers and a nosy ex-president I realize that 48% is nothing to sneeze at.

All in all it was a great experience. Great people, great candidate, great city, great opportunity. The roller-coaster ride of a race captured the attention of the New York Times here and again here. Professionally it opened up some doors for me and let's face it, there are worse places than the Chi to make a name for yourself in if you're looking to step up inside the world of Democratic politics. Which I am. More later...

The real excitement of this race came about a week out and it turned the race inside out. Here's what I wrote about it then:

First things first:

Gerry Mac is a pimp. The Cuse has most definitely been in the house this past week: knocking off the #1 team in country while taking out three other ranked teams on their way to successfully defending their Big East conference tournament title and earning a 5 seed in the NCAA Tourney. The Aggies of boo-ass Texas better watch the eff out: you are about to be definitely set on fiyah.

I haven't actually been able to pay all that much attention to Syracuse's incredible run due to this nagging job of mine. It requires my attention on nearly a daily basis and doesn't seem to provide me with much but delicious pastries and cakes to snack on while I try to overthrow the sitting county president here in the Chi.

It's amazing how quickly a campaign's fortune can go from good to bad to something completely different within 24 hours. As an example, here is my abridged attempt at a Google-Monkey dodging recap of the past 24 hours:

6 pm Monday night:

We're doing our thing in the office, awaiting the results of a Chi Trib poll that's supposed to be made public around 9pm. Now, it's a well-known fact that endorsements from respected or well-known local figures during the last weeks of a campaign can help solidify your base and generate the much-sought after BIG MO right before Election Day. You just hope those who have it within their power to annoint with a simple photographed handshake or an arm-in-arm stroll in a parade walk will either come out for you or stay out of the race altogether. In the Windy City, there are those that pull water and there are those that can make it rain. The water pullers operate mostly on the local level: aldermen, retired judges, some sitting state state senators, and so on. But in the Chi, there are only three undisputed rainmakers that, like Prince or Elvis, need only go by one name.

3) RDM

Yes, the son of that RJD. He's the mayor and he's on the record for our opponent, but as my guy is his former Chief of Staff, he's not exactly yelling "Mush!" to the Chi GOTV machine.

2) Junior

J3. As in Congressman for the heavily-African-American southside of Chi. Well-known for serving his constituency well, well-respected for his earning of a place outside of his father's shadow (though he's not afraid to wield the clout his name brings him through genetic default), he is THE MAN to the southside African American community, though still second to the Chi's #1 dude.

1) BHOJ

AKA Daddy Fatsacks AKA The skinny kid with a funny name with peoples in the red states AKA O'Bama to the city's considerable Irish population AKA AKA AKA AKA...The list goes on. Dude gets the Evanston liberals starry-eyed over lattes then takes the red line down to 95th St and goes "Number one in the hood, G". Even the fishes of Lake Michigan slap fins when he walks by. One hug from King Midas is all it takes to get a seat next to the throne. The campaign's been in constant contact with his peoples and so far he's stayed publicly neutral but one word, one flake, one crumb of love from BHOJ means this thing's over.

However... there is another.

If one were to take a poll in any black community outside the Chi, and ask the people who they would wait in line the longest to see speak, who they would take four trains just to get a chance to touch or just chill and drink some drink with, there's only one dude who cuts a wider swath than Barack. And his name is Bubba. And Bubba just slapped his big ol thing down on the table here in the Chi.

"Come on man, bring it in for the real thing"

Oh no he didn't. Around 6pm we get word that our opponent has snagged a recorded endorsement from Bubba himself. There are many reasons why this turn of events is surprising but nonetheless Bubba is right now up on black radio and on the answering machines in the homes of both black and progressive voters asking them to support his good friend, the incumbent. Oh yes he did.

Time passes quickly as we're scrambling to confirm the message's existence and measure the impact on motivating and suppressing our respective base constituencies when the Trib poll hits. Their dude 47%, our dude 37%, 15% undecided with a 5% margin of error. Not as close as we would have liked but it's much closer than the last poll had the campaign two months before and the high count of undecideds this late in the campaign only helps us.

I go out late that night to drink and catch The Books show at someplace downtown and eventually crawl into my bed at 3am convinced that if only we could get all of Chi-town to listen to more found-sound cello compositions we just might have a chance at this thing.

9am, Tuesday morning:

I arrive at the office with a pouch of stale bourbon where my inspiration used to be. There's a crowd around the television and I learn that around the same time I was passing out the night before our opponent was waking and complaining of feeling weak in his left side. He's rushed to the hospital for tests and while his press officer is saying he's just feeling tired and the visit is a precautionary one nobody with a medical degree is saying anything just yet.

The incumbent is a 76-year old African-American with diabetes and a recent survivor of open heart triple-bypass surgery. He's a visibly unhealthy man and when word hits that he indeed did suffer a stroke in the middle of the night an unsettling feeling sweeps through the office. Mixed feelings of concern, worry, relief, shame and general nervousness are exchanged as two new teams trot out onto the field for fresh set of nine innings. AKA it's a whole new ballgame .

6 days to go...

OK, back to the present day. This may sound silly but in the end it came down to not enough people voting for us. While that's always the case for one candidate in every race it's particulary helpful as an illumination of what worked and what didn't on this particular campaign. It's one thing if the universe of voters you've been trying to persuade doesn't come out in droves for you. You can blame their decision to stay home on any number of factors: not targeting the right campaign themes or messages to encourage the crossover, your direct mail pieces not having enough bite or resonance visually, poor choices in empowering surrogate candidates to politic on your behalf, the list goes on. These people weren't with you in the first place so it's harder to create a compelling reason for them to go to the polls and easier to forgive them nor turning out. But when your base, your core group of consituents, doesn't turn out it's usually due to a larger fundamental flaw in your GOTV plan.

In this case, I think it's pretty clear the missing piece was a legitimate knock-and-drag effort in our base. Knock-and-drags are a long-standing component of urban campaigns, especially for Democrats, and the importance of these types of operations is well-articulated here. The candidate can blame voters for not showing up all he wants, but the fact remains this was a county race with no compelling primary battle at the top of the ballot to bring voters out and some money set aside to hire half-a-dozen buses worth of high school kids to knock on doors in our base on Election Day wouldn't have been a bad idea. But wtf do I know...

There are plenty of scapegoats to go around...

As for me, I'm taking my ass up to Minnesota for a little fresh air. Longtime readers are well aware of my last journey (scroll down about halfway until the pictures start) to the frozen north country and I pledge to keep my jacket with me at all times to avoid further late-night goodbye phone calls.

In the meantime, there's much more non-campaign stuff that I've been putting off writing about so I've got some catching up to do. In the meantime, please accept ths following as a fitting farewell tribute to one of the greatest players to ever don the Syracuse Orange. I was wrong about the Cuse-Aggies matchup but only a Final Four run could have topped the Big East Tourney run as a proper send-off for Gerry McNamara. Not that he'd need me, but if dude ever runs for mayor of Scranton, I'm there. You da man, Gerry.

At least one more day left

2006-03-22T11:37:00.000-05:00

The latest...

Don't take it personal if I don't get back to you before this thing is done done.

3 days left...

2006-03-19T00:08:00.000-05:00

Where I'm at...

I wrote a very long analysis of this very interesting 24-hour period in our campaign but am holding off on posting it for fear of the Google Monkeys. Will post more, much more, very soon...

13 days and counting...

2006-03-08T12:23:00.000-05:00

Primary Day is less than two weeks away and we've only just begun...

Picked up a major endorsement today to go with our earlier endorsement. Scared or unopposed...scared or unopposed...scared or unopposed....

2. In other news, Champy is back.

Baby it's cold outside

2006-03-05T18:46:00.000-05:00

But what the hell do I know?

2006-03-01T15:07:00.000-05:00

Looks like a broke-ass Ice-T

1. Hip Hop is Dead: What's the difference between a counter-culture and the mainstream? How about the difference between Ice-T doing "Copkiller" and "Law and Order".

Chuck D once famously called hip-hop the black CNN: a direct line of communication comparing and verifying the universal urban plight of African-American youths in the 1980s. Many, like MistaChuck, took it upon themselves to use hip-hop as more than just party music. They recognized the potential revolutionary power latent in hip-hop, evident in it's inventions in language, fashion and attitude. As a "movement", Hip-Hop was seen as not only a response to, but a natural, unavoidable result of the demoralizing urban conditions inhabited by its artists. Hip-Hop, properly channeled, was seen by many as a vehicle for promoting some tenets not yet fully embraced by the urban African-American culture, such as political action, unity and an awareness of its own history .

But if Hip-Hop's visionaries sought to use Hip-Hop to plug some of the gaps in the societal net that they had argued had been essential to its creation, is Hip-Hop, as a movement, sustainable? The back cover of Bomb the Suburbs posed the question thusly: "Is the ultimate goal of hip-hop to eliminate itself?"

Well, Hip-Hop may not have eliminated itself but as of yesterday it can be found in the Museum of American History. Artifacts and symbols of potential power never made kinetic now under glass.

2. Chicago

Been on the ground five days, nineteen to go. Is it a bad sign that I'm already counting? I've heard people say there are only two ways to run for office: scared or unopposed. This group is neither but there is a sense that the time is right for the incumbent (our opponent) to lose. The dynamic of this operation is very different from ones that I've worked on in the past and as a result I'm forced to maximize non-traditional means to arrive at traditional ends. The method of measuring our support goes against my training (if you can't count it, it doesn't exist) but the folks with a much better grasp of the local political landscape than me are optimistic and that's what I'm going on, for better or worse.

Via Chicago redux

2006-02-23T00:01:00.000-05:00

"Are you employed, sir?"

"Employed?"

"You don't go out and make a living dressed like that in the middle of a weekday."

"Is this a--what day is this?"

(sigh) Well, it's been a lovely three months of traveling, writing, blogging, and trying to healthy up a bit but the campaign train whistle is blowing. Next stop: Windy City. Well, for a month, anyway. The gig runs up until the Democratic primary on March 21st, which hopefully gives some of the other campaigns I've been talking to enough time to get their ducks in order so I can just bounce from Chi-town to The Next.

I don't want to get into specifics for fear of getting hit by the scat-tossing Google Monkeys but if anyone is curious just holler at me and I'll tell you what I got so far. I expect the result of my return to Chicago, aside from asking people on the street if they know what the Midwest is, will be less time spent hob-blogging and more time hob-nobbing with a little bit of knob-slobbing thrown in there for good measure. The first thing they teach you in campaign class is that a little bit of slobber on the knob goes a long way towards not getting the shaft. I actually just made that up but it works so it must be true.

Mike Myers found out what the Midwest is

Anyway, I'm psyched to be heading back to a legitimate city, especially the Chi. Had a lot of fun there this time last year and hope to look up some old pals. And the man says "write if you get work", not "until", so I expect the frequency of posts on this blog to slow but not stop. Catch ya later pals and gals.

My friends have cute kids

2006-02-21T11:47:00.000-05:00

Exhibit A:

Cuter than Butterstick: Casey and Madeleine

Casey and Maddie belong to my good friends Eric and Jocelyn. E and J are the first ones from my closest circle of friends to have kids. They're freaking adorable. Casey and Maddie, that is. Eric and Jocelyn are refined intellectuals and excellent parents but if I called either one of them adorable, they'd probably slug me. Anyway, Casey is already one of my favorite people on the planet and I'm sure I'll feel the same way about Maddie once I get to know her as well.

It's funny but I think, in subtle ways, knowing that the people I used to party-hardy with have moved on to start a family has made me start to grow up a little bit also. Not just because that's two less people to run with anymore but also because that's my peer group that's moving on.

I'm not saying there aren't still mornings when I'm going to bed when I should be waking up. But with every hangover there's always been that voice in my head, the one that wonders "How much is enough?" and once your friends start having kids, that voice starts getting an extra moment of consideration.

Especially when the kids are as cool as these:

Hey sis, is it just me or is that purple Teletubby a little, um, y'know...foofoo.

But whatever, I'm in no rush to do the baby thing myself. I am, however, after hanging out with Casey and Maddie, urging more of my friends to get together and make some babies. It makes perfect sense to me, after all, these people are my friends. If they have babies together, it just means there's more people just like them to hang out with. Plus, their kids will likely be at least as cool and smart as their parents, not to mention way cuter for at least a decade or so, AND, genetically disposed to laugh at my jokes! Total win-win here. So you hear me, pals? Let's get the lead out and start with the baby-makin!

Show a little faith, there's magic in the night

2006-02-21T00:20:00.000-05:00

The screen door slams
Mary's dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
Darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

You can hide 'neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a saviour to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now ?
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow
Back your hair
Well the night's busting open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting on down the tracks
Oh-oh come take my hand
We're riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh-oh Thunder Road oh Thunder Road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it's late we can make it if we run
Oh Thunder Road sit tight take hold
Thunder Road

Well I got this guitar
And I learned how to make it talk
And my car's out back
If you're ready to take that long walk
From your front porch to my front seat
The door's open but the ride it ain't free
And I know you're lonely
For words that I ain't spoken
But tonight we'll be free
All the promises'll be broken
There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
In the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets
They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they're gone
On the wind so Mary climb in
It's town full of losers
And I'm pulling out of here to win

Now Reading/Listening

2006-02-20T00:36:00.000-05:00

Now Reading:

My reading habits are a function of my anticpated moods and literary desires. I rarely buy one book when I'm in a bookstore, more often than not it's more like five or six. Some I'm anxious to start reading as soon as I get home, some I've read about someplace and think I'd like to read, others I feel shame that I haven't read already and buy with a feeling of disciplinary admonishment. This buying frenzy gets worse whenever I get to go to certain stores. My favorite bookstores are the mammoths: Powell's in Portland and Chicago, Tattered Cover in Denver, the Strand in NYC. I get to each a couple times a year (except the Cover, haven't been there in a few years and I feel a part of me dying on the inside) and it's a lucky deal when I restrain myself to an armload bounty of books.

The result is a much fuller suitcase on my return trip and a stack of books on my desk that grows like Joyce's eternal mountain of sand. Having been jobless for three months now and sedentary for one, I've been able to make some progress in the stack. Here are the favorites:

Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry - epic cowboy saga that earned the author the Pulitzer Prize long before he produced and co-adapted Brokeback Mountain for the big screen. Excellent characters: old Mexican cooks, restless ex-Texas Rangers, sharp-tongued frontierswomen, stubborn cattle, renegade Comanches and the sprawling, beautifully captured territories of Texas to Montana. 800+ pages a bit intimidating at first but once you get into the pace of the novel the pages fly by. Interesting fact: Larry McMurtry used to run with Ken Kesey and Ken Babbs back at Stanford in the early 60s and is included in the list of visitors to Kesey's forest crib in La Honda in Tom Wolfe's Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test. There must have been something in the water up there cause those cats can write.

Before Lonesome Dove, I read Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth. Not the greatest novel ever published but definitely an instant favorite. From the jacket:

Portnoy's Complaint n. [after Alexander Portnoy (1933- )] A disorder in which strongly-felt ethical and altruistic impulses are perpetually warring with extreme sexual longings, often of a perverse nature. Acts of exhibitionism, voyeurism, fetishism, auto-eroticism and oral coitus are plentiful; as a consequence of the patient's "morality" however, neither fantasy nor act issues in genuine sexual gratification, but rather in overriding feelings of shame and the dread of retribution, often in the form of castration.

Very funny, very insightful and VERY graphic. Evoked vicariousness and personal memories at the same time. I'm relieved to discover that some of the more shameful thoughts I had as a child are nearly universal among those raised in Jewish households. Except the castration part; thankfully, that punishment never occured to me or, more thankfully, my parents.

I've had Jonathan Lethem's The Fortress of Solitude sitting in a pile of yet-to-be read novels on my desk for about 8 months now. I read and liked one of his earlier novels, Motherless Brooklyn, but it wasn't the life-changing literary experience some made it out to be. FOS seems to be one of those books I know I'll like once I get in the mood to read it: copious late funk/early hip-hop references, kids growing up amid tense neighborhood race relations, set in Brrrrrrooklyn (I was going to just type Brooklyn but my index finger stuttered and I like the way it looks now so...). Unfortunately for you Mr. Lethem, the city of Chicago and Devil in the White City have already got me reeled in so you're gonna have to wait your turn.

Now listening:

My literary and musical shopping habits are very similar. Stacks of vinyl are lighter than stacks of books but still a bitch to make room for in the suitcase. Damn I wish my camera worked. I just found an old hard-cover suitcase while cleaning out my folks' basement and it's sweet. Had to glue some of the stitching back together but it's a total travelling salemsan special. Can't wait to take it on the train.

Anyway, I have yet to remove any of the grains of sand making up the stack of vinyl in my closet but that will change as soon as I take the time to get a record player. No turntable = CDs. So see deez cuts bee-yatch.

Will Oldham and Tortoise - Chester the Whispering Cabin Boy joins up with the Cool Noise Kids for an album of covers. The material samples everything from Springsteen to Lungfish, Elton John to Devo. Great concept although the end results don't live up to the hype or my own hopeful expectations. Elton's "Daniel" has gotten better with every listen, though, unfortunately, The Boss' "Thunder Road" doesn't hold up. If you're going to attempt to sing about girls and boys seeking salvation in guitars and fast cars you better come strong or not at all. "All the redemption I can offer girl is beneath this dirty hood... You ain't a beauty but, hey, you're alright". Yeah, keep that weak shizz at home, cousin.

Loose Fur - Born Again in the USA

The Books

DangerDoom - Just getting around to this summer jam of an album but I like it. A lot. "Stroll across the globe and terrorize the planet in a Bill Clinton mask and them Playskool hammers!" Was everybody else already up on Aqua Teen Hunger Force except me too? Damn.

La nueva Caps y Jones mix - fresh for them Swedish ears. Good for the run around town or the ride home from the party with a car full of kids. Get the local take here. NYC heads - check out the authors here.

The Progressive Complaint

2006-02-15T17:35:00.000-05:00

or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Blog

Strange bedfellows...seeking and finding truth in early 90's hiphop...The Santa Clara Blues...The truth is messy but profits are always tidy...Purdue don't know nothing about this Big Ten...Jackson Browne: possible asshole, wonderful songwriter...Ashes of the Coliseum...The Keanu Reeves Unified Theory of Everything

Alright, time to pay the rent, so to speak. If the people wanted panda feet and musings on limericks there are monkeys pounding out that sorta copy all over the internets. But the people come here for the homecookin. The Daily Special. The cheese in their macaroni, as the Baron says. Well, soup's on, ring the bell.

That shit looks good as hell, right?

A lefty pal of mine is dating someone with an extremely conservative worldview. How conservative? The Volunteer-for-the-military-no-sex-til -marriage-dinosaur-bones-are-a-test-from-G-D kinda conservative. For real. Dude was alright though. He wasn't preachy in the least and actually had a very open mind - except where the Bible was concerned. That shit was like Scripture to him. The few days I got to chat with him though I actually learned a lot - and not just how to sweep centuries of scientific knowledge under the rug.

Look at all these tests G-d left us!

As cuz and I spoke, I found myself struggling to cut to the marrow of the progressive complaint; that root theme of what progressives find most dissatisfying in society. I kept having to stop mid-thought in order to backtrack and describe other issues my first thought either linked to or rested upon. In the end, the ultimate link, the center of the web/cornerstone issue that I kept coming back to, was our American system of capitalism.

The mother of all pyramid schemes

How many societal ills stem from, that is to say, find root and nourishment, in the steamy Big C pile? The Big C, after all, requires inequality. Poverty is a mandated tenet of The Big C. The Big C makes it a biological imperative of the modern corporation to put its profit margin above all other considerations, including democratically-enacted laws or the public interest. By its very nature, the modern corporation cannot act another way. When you combine that M.O. with seriously unchecked influence and access to our nation's lawmakers, protection equal to personhood in the eyes of the law and an American Idol-worshipping general public, like Flav said, it all adds up to a funky situation.

Flava as The Big C: "I can't do nuttin' for ya man! I'm busy tryna do for me!"

At one point in our conversation, my new conservative friend said something along the lines of, "Where'd you get your information from, huh? (he didn't mention anything about fronting when Revelation comes - whew!)", and for a second, I didn't know where to start. I know that my first summer spent as an environmental campaigner led me to start reading up on environmental philosophies, like deep ecology. Soon after that someone dropped the "oppression knows no hierarchy" bomb on me and I realized that the fight for animal rights is the same as the fight for human rights and civil rights and so on and just like that, my politics changed. Back at school my friends and I shared whatever credible sources of non-mainstream facts and info we found and, over time, my progressive education gained a momentum all it's own. I don't think my path was too different from most other progressives.

We read the magazines, we watch the TV specials, we visit the websites. We have the conversations with friends that fill the gaps in our knowledge on things like pesticides, the threat media agglomeration poses to free speech and how international trade law keeps AIDS medicine from southern Africa and skews the playing field so heavily we'd have been smart to start storing bottled water yesterday.

It's no shock we developed distrust for the storytellers. Once we realized just how limited the story is that we're being given: the talking heads, the politicians, the advertisers, anyone with an economic incentive to deny us the full scoop was immediately suspect. And yet this distrust, when vocalized, is categorized and labeled by non-progressives as paranoid behavior. Craziness. We're upsetting the herd, rocking the boat, blocking the TV screen, etc. But to call someone crazy is to dismiss and ignore their complaint. Disregard it like the cat that stares raptly at your finger instead of looking at where you're pointing.

Pulled Up Talking Heads = OK

Ok, fine. We've read what others haven't. That's great, but so what?

So We Know.

Yeah, heard ya the first time, but now what?

Well, what would YOU do? What would you do if you felt like you knew an important secret that few others had been let in on? Would you run around screaming like Chicken Little? Would you gang up with other likeminded folks and take to the streets? What if not enough people listened? What if they said you were nuts? Or worse, what if everyone heard you but nobody cared? What if the most effective outlets to get your secret out were of little help and actually part of the larger problem? Uh oh!

Now what? Do you retreat with your secret to the woods? Just you, your beard, your secret, your filthy grey hoodie and your typewriter? All alone except for the occasional unlucky hiker? Or do you dedicate your life to toiling in the non-profit trenches for little pay, little recognition and no guarantee you'll ever get to see the fruits of your labor? Hey friend, wouldn't you rather just set down that heavy conscience and your liberal guilt, say fuck it and start spending some long overdue quality time looking out for No. 1?

OR would you rather just take it one-day at a time, pick and choose your battles and just try to be a good person? That's it...just breathe easy...breathe. Damnit. If only there were this, like, watchdog organization out there, whose job it was to monitor and curb the harmful influence that corporations could have on the American people. You know, somebody or something that could sweat all the details that we can't keep track of. Oh wait, I forgot, there is one! It's called the Government.

But forget them, man. That horse took a fatal shit in the barn years ago. And why not? They have met the enemy and they is them! The Founding Fathers were wary of corporate power, so were Lincoln and Eisenhower. Each sought to warn the nation of the risk involved in allowing corporations to have too much influence over civil society. I'm not sure if this is explicitly mentioned in Locke's musings on the social contract but it seems like part of the faith we place in our elected officials is to execute the necessary functions of government that we, the people, aren't supposed to have time for as we busy ourselves being productive members of society. Isn't that why we elect representatives? To put the bumpers in the gutters, so to speak? That shit's their job, right?

No more gutterballs!

Well, I think I may have finally stumbled upon the essence of the progressive complaint: The psychopaths are driving the goddamn bus and the windows have all been painted black.

Pop quiz hotshot, what do you do?

Well, having tried most of the approaches mentioned above, I'm exploring what options remain. I do still hold faith that the best way to improve the quality of life for us all is to improve the quality of our leaders. Hence, my current gig as a roving campaigner. Toss out the bums and make room for a better breed, I say. It may not go for the jugular and it's certainly not a quick fix but Rome wasn't burnt in a day either. In the meantime, blogging seems to help. So does drinking. The occasional rant to a hypothetical audience is delusional yet kinda comforting. Sort of like believing dinosaur bones are a test from G-d but hey, we've all got our issues.

What time do the bars in the Rabbithole close?

The real question remains though: What's a person of conscience to do? Now that you know, what are you gonna do? I don't wanna know what it says about me that my summation is a synthesis of lines from Keanu Reeves movies, but there it is. Pop quiz hotshot, red pill or blue pill, what do you do? Pop quiz hotshot, now that you know, what do you do?

Apparently, you start a blog. And try to give yourself peace of mind while still giving the people what they want, which, in case it's less diatribe and more animal feet, I'm with that too. Alright, I'm going out. Later.

Selah.

Protect ya Squatch, Beeyotch

2006-02-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

The city that George Bush the Father once referred to as "Little Beirut" has made the short list of cities the RNC is interested in having host its 2008 National Convention. Other bizarre-o inclusions are the People's Republics of San Francisco and Seattle.

San Fran? Works for me. The Alabama delegation ought to feel right at home.

RNC San Fran: "Hellooooooooo Mr. Republican Man!"

As for Seattle and Portland, it's obvious the RNC selection committe hasn't been briefed on the Sasquatch's Republic of Cascadia yet.

Squatch Uber Alles!

Butterstick discovers snow

2006-02-14T17:49:00.000-05:00

For those that have yet to be exposed to the national sensation known as Butterstick, prepare yourself. Baby pandas are not only extremely rare, but they will make even the coldest heart talk wike dis. Yes he will! Yes he will! Ooshabooboojoojoo!

He's just a wittle guy

Anyway, Butterstick (aka Tai-Shan) is now seven months old and has had the entire D.C. area under his spell since the day he was born. Someone needs to commission a GAO report tracking government productivity levels in relation to increased traffic on the National Zoo's panda-cams.

All the pandas with clean feet say Ho-oooooooooh!

The recent (what is it, a-) Blizzard gave Buttersttick his first taste of snow. Witness the little bugger's face-melting cuteness as he wrassles with mama bear in the snow.

Chinese conservationists estimate there are only 1,600 giant pandas left roaming the mountain forests of central China. Another 120 are in Chinese breeding facilities and zoos, and about 20 live in zoos outside China. Butterstick's folks, Mei Xiang and Tian Tian, are at the National Zoo on a ten-year loan from the China Wildlife Conservation Association. Hooray for randy pandas.

2. Happy Valentine's Day lovers. This Jens' is for you.

P.S. Sorry about your face...

2006-02-13T14:29:00.000-05:00

but how many times do we have to tell you you can't sneak up on the Vice President like that? Alright, I know I'm a full day behind the news cycle on this but Blogger was hassling my photo-posting abilities and Jon Stewart is right, this shit is too easy. Too. Many. Jokes. Cant. Decide. Which. To. Use.

But seriously, are you checking these badboys out? Not only did Cheney totally shoot an old man in the face with a shotgun, he's got his own customized sideshooters! The firing pin glows blue and the engraved initials look like some King Richard-shit.

Just so's you know who did it to ya, son.

Those sure are some cherry pistols, mister.

Anyway, my favorite thing from this whole episode is not being able to stop picturing Vincent Vega shooting Marvin in the face in Pulp Fiction.

Cheney: "Oh man, I shot Harry in the face!"
Hunting Buddy: "Why the fuck did you do that?"
Cheney: "Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident. You probably hit my elbow or something!"

Cheney calls Condi for help:

Cheney: "I don't wanna hear about no motherfuckin' ifs, Condi. All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain't got no problem, Dick. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back out there, chill them niggas out and wait for the calvary which should be coming directly."
Condi: "You ain't got no problem, Dick. I'm on the motherfucker. Go back in there, chill them niggas out and wait for the Wolf(owitz) who should be coming directly."
Cheney: "You sendin' the Wolf?"
Condi: "Oh, you feel better, motherfucker?"
Cheney: "Shit, Negro, that's all you had to say!"

If someone with halfway decent photoshop skills would like to take a swing at making the pictures above resemble the new actors I'd be happy to publish the results. I think I've gotten out of my system all I have to say on the matter. I'm going back to reading Lonesome Dove now.

Well, I shot a man in Texas...

2006-02-12T18:00:00.000-05:00

1. Dick Cheney: Texas Ranger
Could have been worse, at least he only got the guy in the face, neck and chest. Lucky for Mr. Whittington that the Veep has extensive medical personnel with him at all times, including an ambulance on-call that follows him wherever he goes. All I can think of though is that scene from Wedding Crashers where Vince Vaughn gets it in the keyster. Wonder if Dick saw that movie. Probably not.

2. Make Your Own Super Mario Blocks
Pac-Manhattan is cool. But seeing one of these blocks hanging around town would totally make my month. I'm making this my new project. Will post pictures of process and final deployment soon. I am Wario and I'm-a-gonna-win!

3. Fake is the New Real
DW Griffith was America's first great director. The Washlaska voting block. Z is for sleep(ing). Everything I need to know I learned from this site.

Aaaaaaaaand, we're back (wooooootwooooooot)

2006-02-09T20:58:00.000-05:00

1. Variety Shac's latest short. If I lived in NYC, I would totally try to date each of these women, at the same time, using different fake moustaches.

2. Of the 3 things I expect to find in Heaven:

a) A Grateful Dead concert held at
b) Hugh Hefner's mansion with
c) A bottomless tub of gummi worms

2/3 have already come together here on Earth. Hey Tom Banjo, make with the gummis.

3. More laughs and hip-hop, courtesy of Jean Grae and Spinach, here

Does anyone else hear that?

2006-02-07T18:13:00.000-05:00

Super Bowl weekend in NYC has apparently sapped my brain of all its creative impulses. Multiple boroughs, multiple bars, multiple trains, multiple ATM stops, little sleep. I'm distracted by bright lights and quick movements happening just out of my direct field of vision. When I close my eyes, this happens.

I promise to resume normal blog activities once I regain full use of my frontal lobe. Thank you.

- Management

MoveOn...til the Break of Dawn

2006-02-03T16:05:00.000-05:00

1. MoveOn doing what it does best: droppin $100,000 dolla bills to put their Nixon-morphing-into-Bush ad on CNN over the next three days. Frames the debate and puts the call for a special prosecutor into the middle mind. God work, dot-commies.

2. Speaking of the internet, Gore didn't invent it...Tribe Called Quest did. This revelation only occured after seeing their 1991 video for Scenario again recently. Tell me that doesn't look like some Windows-Mac World hybrid shit. Plus, has anyone ever come closer to a pure expression of Hip Hop than "ROWR ROWR Like a Dungeon Dragon"? Answer: Nope. Keep yer eyes peeled for Fab Five Freddy in the moshpit, giant bra-wearin fly girls and Phife in a Roseanne Roseanna-danna wig.

3. Talkin all that Jazz, Stetsasonic. The HipHoppers Strike Back. As long as we're taking a video trip back in the day, I'd like to share another one of my all-time favorites. This song still sounds as dope as the first time I heard it and strikes a blow for the anti-intellectual property rights crowd at the same time. Make sure to listen to the lyrics, including the uptight, repressed white guy in the beginning. Words for Life: When you lie and you talk a lot...people tell you to step off a lot. Damn, I could write a whole essay on this track. Someday.

3. More from the "Oh shit!" file: Classic hip-hop drum samples. Like Ragu, it's in there.

4. Random 1: The list of the 25 Senators opposing Alito. File this away for future reference.

5. Random 2: As if Jon Stewart hasn't gotten enough props already, he's totally down with Slash too. Crazy

National Hangover Days

2006-02-01T13:24:00.000-05:00

If I were President, these would totally happen.

Yuck.

If I were President, every citizen would be granted the daily right to vote on whether to declare that day a National Hangover Day. A day when the entire country would be allowed to just say "Fuck It", unplug their alarm clocks and pull the covers back up over their heads to sleep one off in blissful peace. There are just some nights when it becomes clear it will not be in the national interest for you to go to work the next day.

Man down. Save the beer.

We've all been there, buddy. Here's how it would work:

Every bedroom in every home would come equipped with a special government-issue nightstand featuring a special button implanted in one of the upper corners. Each nightstand's button, when pressed, would automatically send a signal directly to the White House indicating another vote for a National Hangover Day to be declared. Taking into consideration the potential for abuse of the system, each nightstand would be replaced annually and would cease to work after five uses, or "buttonpushes", whichever you prefer.

Little help?

Every day, I would gather my Cabinet ("Good morning Secretary Nader, Secretary Gibbs, Secretary Makarowski") in the Oval Office around 7:30am and await the daily tally of citizens requesting a National Hangover Day. There would be a "magic number", derived daily from various cultural and economic indicators, that, if reached before 8am EST, would allow me to gleefully pick up a bourbon-colored phone and direct the operator on the other end to bring relief to millions by declaring another National Hangover Day.

Sec. Makarowski's twin needs an NHD

Buttons on nightstands across the country would then glow red and red-eyed, dehydrated people everywhere would rejoice by sinking back into their dream of floating a raft down a sea of malt liquor.

Party on, Wayne.

And there would be much rejoicing.

On a side note, I tried in earnest to keep up with Mr. Bush last night, abiding by the spirit, if not the letter, of the 2006 SOTU drinking game posted yesterday. "Freedom" and "terror" alone killed a third of my beer supply (by the way, for all you prose types out there, those words would make for a great opening line to a story. If you like em, they're yours). And that was just the first fifteen minutes.

I was IMing with my friends Eric and Nate during and after the speech and we did a pretty good job of riling each other up. The Democrats' rebuttal, delivered by Governor Tim "Are you kidding me? How could this not go to Barack?" Kaine (D-VA), was disappointing and caused my mood to shift from something resembling bloodlust, to a feeling I can only imagine resembled what that cosmonaut who floated out of his shuttle's cargo bay to take man's first steps into space felt like.

It was in that frame of mind, however, that I came upon this: a recording of the first Daily Show after 9/11. Powerful. I don't remember seeing this the first time around. I think I was still hiding in the Shenandoah Mountains at that point.

But Jon Stewart's opening monologue is a killer; an emotional time machine and also, I think, a very nice way to honor the passing of Coretta Scott King. I wonder what would have happened if the Dems had simply played this last night instead of serving up more platitudes and rhetoric.

Anyway, I didn't mean to end this post on such a heavy note so here's a different Daily Show clip, one where Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert totally lose it on camera after Stephen fellates a banana. Happy National Hangover Day.

POTUS' SOTU: The drinking game played once a year

2006-01-31T12:45:00.000-05:00

Tonight, on the 1,050th day of the Iraq war (George Will points out the 912th day of American participation in World War II was D-Day), our POTUS will make the State of the Union (SOTU) address he is constitutionally bound to deliver. In response, many Americans will make the gagging-dry-heave noises they are morally bound to deliver.

The Democrats' responses (filmed before a live, non-studio audience) will be given by Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine, in English, followed by a Spanish response from L.A. Mayor Antonia Villaraigosa. Neither of the leaders are expected to deviate from the core message of the Democrats rebuttal, which is to make clear that John Kerry is not the guy giving the response.

For those seeking some appetizers prior to tonight's main course, here are some highlights from today's news:

The NY Times and Washington Post's prep pieces, the NY Daily News on Bush's body language, two updates (one from the top, one from the bottom) on the role of religion in both Parties, and the Daily News again on Sen. Hillary's guest for tonight's speech.

All of the above links can be found in today's The Note, the immensely praiseworthy and free daily digest of news and analysis provided by ABC News. Nowhere is there a greater quality or quantity of coverage to be found in a single source. Beware though, it's more addictive than crackrocks.

An example of The Note's SOTU analysis from ABC News' Polling Director Gary Langer in today's Note:

"Partisans watch these things; rather than torturing themselves, people who don't like the guy can just turn to another of their 100 channels. When we polled on the SOTU in 2003, we found that the president's approval rating among speech watchers was 70 percent, versus 47 percent among those who didn't watch. As we put it at the time: 'Simply put, people who don't like a particular president are considerably less apt to tune him in.'"
"These speeches tend to be composed of poll-tested applause lines, so the people who watch are already predisposed to like what they hear."

People predisposed to like what they hear, eh? Hmmm...well, I can think of only one way to guarantee my predisposed enjoyment of tonight's latest truth-massacre, and that's to turn it into a drinking game. Here are the rules.

So gather your buddies and get down on Bush's special brand of truthiness. Because remember: If you watch the speech, you're gonna feel like shit tomorrow morning anyway.

When it rains, it pours

2006-01-30T18:40:00.000-05:00

Third post of the day. Should've been the first.

My homie, my stromie from back in the day, DK Meth, has dropped his first mash-up for your aurul pleasure.

Check him out dudes: Fiddy meets George Benson in GiveMeDaNightClub. When you're done, email him your request to release the uncirculated-but-heavily-rumored-to-exist Mammoth demo tapes.

For a refresher on Fiddy mashups gone wrong, go here

File under "N" for No Doy

2006-01-30T17:49:00.000-05:00

The Washington Post reports something the electoral map pointed out years ago.

"That study found that supporters of President Bush and other conservatives had stronger self-admitted and implicit biases against blacks than liberals did...

...The analysis found that substantial majorities of Americans, liberals and conservatives, found it more difficult to associate black faces with positive concepts than white faces -- evidence of implicit bias. But districts that registered higher levels of bias systematically produced more votes for Bush.

Obviously, such research does not speak at all to the question of the prejudice level of the president," said Banaji, "but it does show that George W. Bush is appealing as a leader to those Americans who harbor greater anti-black prejudice...

"...If anyone in Washington is skeptical about these findings, they are in denial," [Krosnick] said. "We have 50 years of evidence that racial prejudice predicts voting. Republicans are supported by whites with prejudice against blacks. If people say, 'This takes me aback,' they are ignoring a huge volume of research."

It's hard to feel sympathy for Condi Rice, but right now, I do.

State of the Union: Insane

2006-01-30T13:54:00.002-05:00

If you have the stomach to watch our President deliver tomorrow night's SOTU here's an excellent article from this Sunday's Washington Post to frame the issues. Below are the results of a poll conducted Jan. 23-26 by the Post and ABC News asking Americans which issue should receive the highest priority by Bush and the Congress. Margin of error = +/- 3%

Interesting to see lobbying reform at the bottom of the list. It seems the Abramoff affair didn't surprise anyone but only confirmed that Americans already believe that Congress is available to the highest bidder. And yet, still not a priority. The blind trust people have in their government to self-regulate follows the textbook definition of insanity: to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

The issue directly above lobbying reform is a bit harder to rationalize. It's not a problem we as a species have had to deal with before although blind trust in our leaders is certainly not something we can rely on here, either. The debate stiffens, and Blair shows he's not like Dubya on all fronts.

Think about this stuff too much and before too long you might find yourself adopting alter-egos the better to join your insane countrymen.

Somebody, anybody, please...put me back to work before it's too late.

The Human Torch was denied a bank loan

2006-01-30T02:32:00.000-05:00

SSA Audio Volume One - Vocals: yikes. I'm really sorry. I have no idea how to sound like I'm not speaking from a podium when I sing. Guitar: passable. Whistling: like a goddamn canary. If the above Flash thingy doesn't work, click here to hear it elsewhere. Don't fit and don't play is a bad combo. Make sure to leave all constructive feedback in comments box below. Thank you.

Inhabitat.com

2006-01-29T23:50:00.000-05:00

1. Naturalicious covers for your iPod and laptops

2. Imagine trying to pull this off in NYC. "Hi Officer, how are you today? Oh this, it's just a little public art-open space reclamation project my friends and I have - what? Permit? Oh no, but we're feeding the meter! What? OK, yessir, we'll be removing it right now." Gotta love the SFPD...

Here I come again, I'm bringin my friends

2006-01-28T17:32:00.000-05:00

1. The "Ooh-la-la-la" gets reunited for Chappelle's Block Party. Coming soon to a theater near you. Check the trailer here.

2. A-10 basketball classic: GW v. Rhode Island, home of Cut Mobley and Lamar "Gettin paid to watch Kobe is cool" Odom. Buff n' Blue now lookin to run the table. First ever Top 10 ranking possibly in the offing. SSA roots hard for the home team as Syracuse gets its act together.

SLY LIVES!

2006-01-27T23:41:00.000-05:00

But damn, Sly's welcome-back committee is Maroon 5, Steven Tyler and that fool from the Black Eyed Peas? Stay gone, Sly!

I'll kick your sister's ass

2006-01-26T02:11:00.000-05:00

1. Dave Chapelle takes his turn on Inside the Actors Studio on February 12th and does some thinking outloud about Hollywood. More episode previews on the front page

2. The Wand, The Flaming Lips : From the first Lips' album since 2002's Yoshimi. And in a completely different although Lips' related story, an earlier Lips' album, Transmissions from the Satellite Heart, always reminds me of downtown Jersey City, NJ. Specifically, the intersection of Columbus and Grove by the PATH station. I was driving through that intersection, slapping the shit out of my steering wheel in time to When Yer Twenty-Two, when the van I was following side-swiped and then completely ripped the side-view mirror off another van. I wouldn't have done more than brake to rubber-neck for a second before going about my business if the van that I was following hadn't been full of my campaign staff. And a rental. With a 17-year old driver. Who had no driver's license.

I tried to imagine a non-cement shoe related repurcussion of being the one responsible for the campaign being dropped from its rental agreement statewide. Drawing a blank, I ran to the van and told the kid behind the wheel to run. Run fast, far away. But the kid's hesitation blew it and we had to make our stand.

Luckily the guy was a Democrat and didn't want to hassle us. When I got back to the car, the CD had played through back to the beginning:

"It's like at the circus, when you get lost in the crowd.
You're happy but nervous, definite sign that you've lost it"

It's got handclaps too, y'all.

With a Gun, The Minus 5 : The Gun Album, the latest by The Minus 5, features a guestlist that could easily fill out a festival bill. The Minus 5, along with Golden Smog (also dropping a new album this year), are where Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy goes to re-connect with his alt-country roots. If this song also turns out to closely resemble the sound on Wilco's upcoming studio album, I would not be unhappy.

Bring the Noise...

2006-01-25T20:09:00.000-05:00

From Musings of a Liberal Texan...

"There are times when you say, no more. Yes, the republicans won and have the power. But guess what? 52% of the people in this country believe that Bush should be impeached! 52%! Last time a percentage was used, I believe it was 51%, it was called a mandate. So what is 52%? A direct freakin’ order? Over and over again we heard it said – mandate! mandate! mandate! all over the news. What was the percentage of people that wanted Clinton impeached? 36%? Yet silence from the media on the issue of impeachment. No amount of head bobbing, arrogant dismissal of facts, minimizing of ethical violations or deflection of attention will ever, ever justify blatant law breaking."

More here...

BENSCOT DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM IN THA HOUSE!

2006-01-25T01:43:00.001-05:00

1) A rap based on the HTML code found in Strike Sparks Anywhere, courtesy of HTTP in tha House

HTTP in tha House
lyrics by: http://benscot.blogspot.com

then worry
wanna go br slurry
this comment
the radio prewar
b aptonym
rock n roll for
blogger com comment g blogID
deselectbloggerimagegracefully

is a paragraph
span be bork
wwf monster car fantasy
content article ar lsd
em posted by
pete best pete rye
by big easy a href chef
a href http cleft

BENSCOT DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM IN THA HOUSE
BENSCOT DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM IN THA HOUSE
BENSCOT DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM IN THA HOUSE
BENSCOT DOT BLOGSPOT DOT COM

* the weird part: pete rye is a friend of mine in Boston whose name does not appear anywhere in this blog until now. Pete warned that "the intranet will kill us all". It knows, Pete, it knows.

2) Leeeeee-ROOOOOOOY JENKINS! Though I'm aware these games exist, I've never played them but this dude's battle-cry cracks me up. And at least he has chicken. I'm totally using this in my everyday life.

3) A short list of reasons why I like staying up late: It's quiet. Pressure to do something with the day is gone. Can drink lots more water. Though I've quit, the cigarettes taste so good. The phone calls are better. The meds finally wear off.

4) Haiku for Ron Artest:

Trade me! Just kidding?
Ron? Is Larry Bird gonna
have to choke a bitch?

5) The new Mac is cooler than a box of popsicles.

6) Dan Snyder pimps the system aka no salary cap for coaches: The New Org Chart

7) Another 2005 Did You Know: Rupert Murdoch bought Myspace? If true, shouldn't Bill O'Reilly have to sport a scarf and chunky glasses? Seems fair.

800K Arcade Fire fans might be wrong

2006-01-22T01:23:00.000-05:00

Am I the only one that doesn't see a happy ending here?

Anyway, I have a confession to make.

For the past year, I've been trying really, really hard to get into the modern indie music scene. I've read the reviews, clicked the downloads, seen the shows, etc. I've spent hours browsing artist websites, mp3 blogs and the blackhole of time and energy known as Myspace. Two days (!) I spent chasing down samples of the bands listed on different 2005 End Of Year Best-Of lists. But in the end, all I find myself left with is a handful of songs that I wouldn't mind listening to again (and again and again and again) but nothing worth the hype really. I can't front any longer - I must come clean.

It don't pass the It's-Fine-For-The-Internet-But-Would-I-Play-It-In-My-Car test. At least not the stuff the kids are going nuts for: Arcade Fire, Wolf Parade, Decemberists, The New Pornographers, Clap Your Hands Say YeahYeahWhatever-I-Liked-It-The-First-Time-When-It Was-Called-The Talking-Heads. It's just not doing it for me.

Sufjan Stevens seems to be doing the most with the tools of his genre: celestial strings, muted horns, a male lead vocalist that sounds like he's either ten or been neutered. But the rest of it kind of all runs together to me. Again, a handful of good stuff (see below) but most of it's either too lightweight, or fey, or twee, or whatever the fuck the kids are calling it; or it's rock n' roll without the edge, a la Spoon or The National. It's not what I'm looking for in my music. Although the first track on that Arcade Fire album does kick ass.

Frankly, being unemployed four months out of the year gives me a lot of time to sift the sands of the web to find the good stuff. But it's fucking exhausting. I got loads of spare time and I still can't keep up with all the bands that are supposed to be just "envelope-pushing", let alone "genius". Good luck staying twee and employed, kiddos.

Turns out all I want in my music is some harmonica and some handclaps. Thank you, Southeast Engine (click on One Caught Fire - and wait for it).

More good music: Doh! The song I wanted to put here had fun lyrics, triumphant horns, a loud bass, Doo-Doo'n backup singers, and more handclaps! But the blog it appeared on just killed the link, so....here's the same band, the Scotland Yard Gospel Choir, but a different tune. It's still a good one.

OK, I like a little bit more in my music than just handclaps. I like it traditional sounding but with a touch of discord. Weirdness is good, gimmicks are lame. Noise can be great as long as it's not a replacement for substance, unless of course you can make it work like that. I also need my vocalists to sound like they've been old enough to understand what they're singing about. The Unicorns know better than to try to wrap their feeble limbs around the disillusionment of adulthood. SYGC almost pull that one off but, listening to the guy's voice there, I can't help but get the feeling that if he's dismayed by 23, just wait til he gets a load of 30.

My "indie" favorites from 2005: My Morning Jacket, Z; Devendra Banhart, Cripple Crow; Eels, Blinking Lights...; Caps and Jones, Moving in Stereo; and my man Jens.

Oh yeah, shouts to Yacht Rock. It's the smoothest.

Avoiding the Google Monkeys

2006-01-20T13:57:00.000-05:00

Illadelph
I had to pull the plug on my first attempt at blogging earlier this year due to stupidity. It's difficult to live in the worlds of a candid blogger and a slightly-connected political operative at the same time. Hence, all controversial names have been intialized to protect their identity from the aforementioned Google monkeys.

If someone had told me a year ago, when I was just starting to dip my big toe in the milky world of political consulting, that, at this time this year, I would be editing the 2006 statewide voter contact plan for Ohio at a desk in the office next to SR (1, 2), I would've called bullshit. But truth stranger fiction blahblahblah...

Quick weekly recap:

Monday - supervised finishing touches on new kitchen being installed in old house

Tuesday - gym, surfed web, baked lasagna in brand-new kitchen

Wednesday - got my D.C. on: attended reception for swearing-in of Sen. Menendez (D-NJ) at D.C. Hyatt, shook hands with Ted Kennedy, sipped champagne in the Thomas Jefferson suite at the Willard Intercontinental, shook hands with Steve Rothman (D-NJ's Fightin 9th), got tanked with next mayor of Hoboken at several swingin D.C. establishments.

Thursday - edited Ohio statewide plan, met with SR and others

Friday - gym, surfed web, cooked chili

Now for the goodies:

One guy in Washington State refers to "Eye Gunk" as "Kitty"
1) Soda vs. Pop cleared up, but apparently the jury is still out on the sprinkles/jimmies debate. I find this site endlessly fascinating.

2) I think if we pooled our money we could not only afford three of these things, but also hire a goon to forcibly attach them to Tucker Carlson's nipples and perineum.

3) Bork bork bork! (1, 2)

Well, barring a major upset, it looks like the SSA Express will be pulling into the City of Brotherly Love for it's next campaign stop. Two big seats at stake and a chance to crush Mr. Frothy Mixture himself. Living up to its name, the O.G. made me an offer I'd be stupid to ignore.

(sigh)

Someday Portland, someday.